When I met my wife, Heather, we immediately hurried to "tie the knot." We had our minds made up and no one was going to stop us. While the first couple of years of marriage were exciting, some rough years followed. The newness wore off, and I started to feel like I was stuck in something that I hadn’t put much thought into.
I regret to say that I became bitter toward my wife and our marriage. Not helping matters at all, I began to backslide into some old and painful habits. When I thought things could not get worse, Heather shared with me that she was pregnant.
What should have been joyous news came as a warning to get things straight. I was 25 years old, a struggling musician and soon to be a father. Although we could’ve given up on many occasions, we trusted in the Lord to carry us through the difficult years. Guess what? He did.
Our hardships early in our marriage are nothing to be proud of, but I can now look back on these trials as growing pains that prepared us for a greater marriage together. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (James 1:2). Take this list of advice from another young person who, unfortunately, learned things the hard way, but who found his answers backed up by the Word of God. My prayer is that this will bless you and your future.
Ten Things to Consider Before Marriage
1.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has jointed together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning." - Matthew 19:6-8
2.
Your marriage will go through tough times, but remember it's a lifelong commitment.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." - James 1:2
3.
Be a servant to your spouse, putting her needs before your own.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-5
4.
Learn to forgive…and forget.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14-15
5.
Admit when you are wrong, and seek reconciliation with your spouse.
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." - Matthew 5:23-24
6.
Make plans together, but don't be surprised when things do not turn out the way you planned.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2
7.
Communicate often, but don't try to change your spouse. Instead, try to encourage and strengthen each other. You cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, `Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. - Luke 6:41-42
8.
Don't depend on your spouse to fill all your needs. Only God can do that.
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, depends on flesh for his strength whose heart turns away from the LORD." - Jeremiah 17:5
9.
A husband must be willing to fill his God-given role.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." - Ephesians 5:25-28
10.
A wife must be willing to fill her God-given role.
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." - Ephesians 5:22-24
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/the_first_five_years/preparing_for_marriage/before_the_wedding.aspx
Friday, November 28, 2008
Preparing for Marriage
Before Jenny got married, her biggest concern was if the color of the altar candles matched her bridesmaids’ dresses. As she frantically managed these details she overlooked what would actually make her marriage healthier and happier on the other side of the altar.
One month after marrying, Jenny realized that she should have been paid closer attention to a whole lot more. Unexpected conflict, financial problems and her husband’s job transfer pushed her over the edge and to her knees. God showed her that there was a lot more to getting married than saying, “I do.”
If you’re like Jenny and about ready to get married or are newly married, we’re committed to help prepare you for marriage and avoid the relational landmines that are certain to come up while you are trying to become one flesh with your spouse.
One month after marrying, Jenny realized that she should have been paid closer attention to a whole lot more. Unexpected conflict, financial problems and her husband’s job transfer pushed her over the edge and to her knees. God showed her that there was a lot more to getting married than saying, “I do.”
If you’re like Jenny and about ready to get married or are newly married, we’re committed to help prepare you for marriage and avoid the relational landmines that are certain to come up while you are trying to become one flesh with your spouse.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Christians Remain Strong and Resolute Despite Muslims Closing Church
INDONESIA – Recently, Muslims closed a church in Jatimula, Bekasi, West Java, Indonesia and blocked Christians from entering and holding services.
According to The Voice of the Martyrs contacts in Indonesia, “Muslims blocked the alley leading to the church building. Pastor Anna and Huta Julu had to lead worship outside their church building and believers had to sit in the dirty alley to pray outside their church.”
VOM contacts added, “The sign outside the church building stated, ‘This church building is sealed,’ and it was written on a letterhead belonging to the Tambun Selatan district of Bekasi local government.”
This is the second time Muslims have closed the church in Bekasi. The church was first closed on September 10, 2005 when a mob of 100 Muslims nailed boards over doors and windows and prohibited believers from entering the building.
Despite the church’s closure believers in Indonesia rejoice in suffering for Christ. In 2005, Huta Julu said, “…we peered between the boards to check for damage inside [the church]. Three of us stood outside in the darkness and prayed. We thanked God that He allowed this to happen to us. We were very encouraged because we knew the Apostles experienced the same thing. We are never disappointed for being Christians.”
VOM has supported and encouraged believers in Indonesia and provides Christian books like Extreme Devotion to believers. Praise God for the unwavering faith of believers in Indonesia. Ask God to watch over Pastor Anna and Huta Julu as they continue to lead other believers in Indonesia. Pray for protection for believers as they couragesously live for Christ in the midst of hardships.
http://www.persecution.com/recent_resolute.html
According to The Voice of the Martyrs contacts in Indonesia, “Muslims blocked the alley leading to the church building. Pastor Anna and Huta Julu had to lead worship outside their church building and believers had to sit in the dirty alley to pray outside their church.”
VOM contacts added, “The sign outside the church building stated, ‘This church building is sealed,’ and it was written on a letterhead belonging to the Tambun Selatan district of Bekasi local government.”
This is the second time Muslims have closed the church in Bekasi. The church was first closed on September 10, 2005 when a mob of 100 Muslims nailed boards over doors and windows and prohibited believers from entering the building.
Despite the church’s closure believers in Indonesia rejoice in suffering for Christ. In 2005, Huta Julu said, “…we peered between the boards to check for damage inside [the church]. Three of us stood outside in the darkness and prayed. We thanked God that He allowed this to happen to us. We were very encouraged because we knew the Apostles experienced the same thing. We are never disappointed for being Christians.”
VOM has supported and encouraged believers in Indonesia and provides Christian books like Extreme Devotion to believers. Praise God for the unwavering faith of believers in Indonesia. Ask God to watch over Pastor Anna and Huta Julu as they continue to lead other believers in Indonesia. Pray for protection for believers as they couragesously live for Christ in the midst of hardships.
http://www.persecution.com/recent_resolute.html
Saudi Man Killed Daughter
Recently, a Saudi member of the religious police cut his daughter’s tongue off and burned her to death for converting to Christianity.
The father, who works for the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, killed his daughter following a debate on religion, according to a report by the United Arab Emirates-based Gulf News.
Media organizations in Saudi Arabia are reporting that the victim wrote a blog under the name "Rania" a few days before her murder. According to the Saudi Arabia Ukhdoud news website, the victim wrote that her life became an ordeal after family members grew suspicious about her after a religious discussion with them. She said her brother found some Christian articles written by her as well as a cross sign on her computer screen. Since then he started to insult her and blamed the Internet for pushing her to change her religion, Gulfnews.com reported.
Saudi religious scholars frequently warn against the dangers of Christian Web sites and satellite television, which they say attract young Muslims to change their faith. They [Muslim scholars] decreed that watching these channels or browsing these websites which call for conversion to Christianity by various means is against the teachings of Islam, the Web site reported
"Our contacts have told us of new Christians simply disappearing when their families learned of their conversion," said Todd Nettleton, Director of Media Development for The Voice of the Martyrs, "but now even Arab media outlets confirm the violent response of radical Muslims to Christianity. We pray that someday this man will come to know Christ, and find forgiveness for ending his daughter’s life. Our hope is that someday he will see his daughter again, in heaven."
The Voice of the Martyrs supports the evangelism efforts of Christians in Saudi Arabia, despite the great cost.
"We call on Christians everywhere to pray for believers facing intense persecution in Saudi Arabia because of their faith," said Nettleton. "Pray God will encourage them and give them boldness to stand up for Christ." http://www.persecution.com/recent_saudiFatherKilling.html
The father, who works for the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, killed his daughter following a debate on religion, according to a report by the United Arab Emirates-based Gulf News.
Media organizations in Saudi Arabia are reporting that the victim wrote a blog under the name "Rania" a few days before her murder. According to the Saudi Arabia Ukhdoud news website, the victim wrote that her life became an ordeal after family members grew suspicious about her after a religious discussion with them. She said her brother found some Christian articles written by her as well as a cross sign on her computer screen. Since then he started to insult her and blamed the Internet for pushing her to change her religion, Gulfnews.com reported.
Saudi religious scholars frequently warn against the dangers of Christian Web sites and satellite television, which they say attract young Muslims to change their faith. They [Muslim scholars] decreed that watching these channels or browsing these websites which call for conversion to Christianity by various means is against the teachings of Islam, the Web site reported
"Our contacts have told us of new Christians simply disappearing when their families learned of their conversion," said Todd Nettleton, Director of Media Development for The Voice of the Martyrs, "but now even Arab media outlets confirm the violent response of radical Muslims to Christianity. We pray that someday this man will come to know Christ, and find forgiveness for ending his daughter’s life. Our hope is that someday he will see his daughter again, in heaven."
The Voice of the Martyrs supports the evangelism efforts of Christians in Saudi Arabia, despite the great cost.
"We call on Christians everywhere to pray for believers facing intense persecution in Saudi Arabia because of their faith," said Nettleton. "Pray God will encourage them and give them boldness to stand up for Christ." http://www.persecution.com/recent_saudiFatherKilling.html
Mumbai Attacked!
Indian commandos are storming a Jewish centre in the city of Mumbai, where gunmen are holding people hostage.
Troops abseiled from a helicopter into the building, as a ground assault was launched. Gunfire was later heard.
Security forces are still clearing gunmen from two luxury hotels, after Wednesday's attacks that killed more than 130 people and injured 300.
Security forces says they are close to taking control of the Oberoi Trident hotel after freeing 93 people.
Media reports say that the majority of those rescued were foreigners.
Meanwhile, security forces are still moving room to room at the Taj Mahal Palace.
An army commander said nearly all guests and staff had been evacuated and that the security operation would be "wrapped up in a few hours".
But the BBC's Nik Gowing, outside the hotel, said he had recently heard a series of explosions and an exchange of gunfire.
At first light helicopters swooped over the Nariman House business and residential complex in south Mumbai, which houses the Jewish outreach group Chabad Lubavitch.
Commandos initially dropped smoke bombs to create confusion, and then several troops abseiled down ropes to secure the roof.
They are said to have been tentatively moving down through the building, trying not to cause casualties among the hostages.
Earlier, a woman and child were seen leaving the building, but it was unclear whether they had managed to escape or were released.
The child was identified as the two-year-old son of Rabbi Gavriel Noach Holzberg, the main representative at the ultra-orthodox outreach centre. There was no word on the rabbi's fate.
In a separate development, the Indian navy has taken control of two Pakistani merchant navy ships and is questioning their crews after witnesses said some of the militants came ashore on small speed boats.
Conflicting clues
Gunmen armed with automatic weapons and grenades targeted at least seven sites in Mumbai late on Wednesday, opening fire indiscriminately on crowds at a major railway station, the two hotels, the Jewish centre, a hospital and a cafe frequented by foreigners.
The attacks are the worst in India's commercial capital since nearly 200 people were killed in a series of bombings in 2006.
On Thursday, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said the government would "take whatever measures are necessary to ensure the safety and security of our citizens".
Mr Singh said the attackers were based "outside the country" and that India would not tolerate "neighbours" who provide a haven to militants targeting it.
India has complained in the past that attacks on its soil have been carried out by groups based in Pakistan, although relations between the two countries have improved in recent years and Pakistani leaders were swift to condemn the latest attacks.
The Pakistan-based militant group Lashkar-e-Toiba denied any role in the attacks.
A claim of responsibility has been made by a previously unknown group calling itself the Deccan Mujahideen.
Eyewitnesses at the hotels said the attackers were singling out British and American passport holders, which BBC security correspondent Frank Gardner says implies an Islamist motive - attacks inspired or co-ordinated by al-Qaeda.
But as investigators from other countries join the hunt, he says, most intelligence officials are keeping an open mind as the attacks have thrown up conflicting clues.
Co-ordinated, mass casualty attacks that target civilians and undefended buildings are very much in the al-Qaeda mould.
But our correspondent says al-Qaeda and its affiliates in the region tend to favour massive truck bombs driven into buildings by suicidal volunteers - that didn't happen in Mumbai.
He says al-Qaeda are also acutely media-savvy, filming their attacks and in the case of hostages, sometimes murdering them on camera. Again, that does not appear to have happened this time.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7753726.stm
Troops abseiled from a helicopter into the building, as a ground assault was launched. Gunfire was later heard.
Security forces are still clearing gunmen from two luxury hotels, after Wednesday's attacks that killed more than 130 people and injured 300.
Security forces says they are close to taking control of the Oberoi Trident hotel after freeing 93 people.
Media reports say that the majority of those rescued were foreigners.
Meanwhile, security forces are still moving room to room at the Taj Mahal Palace.
An army commander said nearly all guests and staff had been evacuated and that the security operation would be "wrapped up in a few hours".
But the BBC's Nik Gowing, outside the hotel, said he had recently heard a series of explosions and an exchange of gunfire.
At first light helicopters swooped over the Nariman House business and residential complex in south Mumbai, which houses the Jewish outreach group Chabad Lubavitch.
Commandos initially dropped smoke bombs to create confusion, and then several troops abseiled down ropes to secure the roof.
They are said to have been tentatively moving down through the building, trying not to cause casualties among the hostages.
Earlier, a woman and child were seen leaving the building, but it was unclear whether they had managed to escape or were released.
The child was identified as the two-year-old son of Rabbi Gavriel Noach Holzberg, the main representative at the ultra-orthodox outreach centre. There was no word on the rabbi's fate.
In a separate development, the Indian navy has taken control of two Pakistani merchant navy ships and is questioning their crews after witnesses said some of the militants came ashore on small speed boats.
Conflicting clues
Gunmen armed with automatic weapons and grenades targeted at least seven sites in Mumbai late on Wednesday, opening fire indiscriminately on crowds at a major railway station, the two hotels, the Jewish centre, a hospital and a cafe frequented by foreigners.
The attacks are the worst in India's commercial capital since nearly 200 people were killed in a series of bombings in 2006.
On Thursday, Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said the government would "take whatever measures are necessary to ensure the safety and security of our citizens".
Mr Singh said the attackers were based "outside the country" and that India would not tolerate "neighbours" who provide a haven to militants targeting it.
India has complained in the past that attacks on its soil have been carried out by groups based in Pakistan, although relations between the two countries have improved in recent years and Pakistani leaders were swift to condemn the latest attacks.
The Pakistan-based militant group Lashkar-e-Toiba denied any role in the attacks.
A claim of responsibility has been made by a previously unknown group calling itself the Deccan Mujahideen.
Eyewitnesses at the hotels said the attackers were singling out British and American passport holders, which BBC security correspondent Frank Gardner says implies an Islamist motive - attacks inspired or co-ordinated by al-Qaeda.
But as investigators from other countries join the hunt, he says, most intelligence officials are keeping an open mind as the attacks have thrown up conflicting clues.
Co-ordinated, mass casualty attacks that target civilians and undefended buildings are very much in the al-Qaeda mould.
But our correspondent says al-Qaeda and its affiliates in the region tend to favour massive truck bombs driven into buildings by suicidal volunteers - that didn't happen in Mumbai.
He says al-Qaeda are also acutely media-savvy, filming their attacks and in the case of hostages, sometimes murdering them on camera. Again, that does not appear to have happened this time.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7753726.stm
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